Verse 1
Down at the county fair on a Saturday night
Grease in the air and the neon lights bright
Jimmy had a corndog, Becky had fries
Then Earl showed up with tears in his eyes
He said, “Y’all better listen ‘cause this ain’t no joke
I heard a strange sound from the back of the smoke…”
Pre-Chorus
It started low… then got real loud
Turned every single head in the crowd
Chorus
It was the HOTDOG SQUEAL
Echoed through the Ferris wheel
Like a pig in cowboy boots on a carnival ride
With mustard on the side
Oh the HOTDOG SQUEAL
Made grandma drop her Happy Meal
The preacher started dancing, the cops lost the trail
When they heard… the hotdog squeal
Verse 2
Vendor named Larry said, “It weren’t me”
But ketchup exploded in degree three
A bratwurst flew past the Tilt-A-Whirl
Nearly knocked the bow off a little girl
Then somebody screamed, “IT’S COMIN’ AGAIN!”
People started runnin’ like the world might end
Pre-Chorus
The buns were flyin’, the relish rained
Nobody there would ever be the same
Chorus
It was the HOTDOG SQUEAL
Shook the bolts outta the wheel
Like a raccoon singing Elvis through a rusty tin pail
That legendary hotdog squeal
Oh the HOTDOG SQUEAL
Every man and woman kneeled
Even Big Mike fainted pale as a whale
When he heard… the hotdog squeal
Bridge
Some say it came from a cursed concession stand
Others blame a kid with a trombone in his hand
But every summer when the fair comes back to town…
You can still hear that mysterious sound…
Final Chorus
THE HOTDOG SQUEAL
Still got that power appeal
Makes the tough guys cry and the babies turn teal
Nobody survives the hotdog squeal
Oh the HOTDOG SQUEAL
A deep-fried paranormal deal
From the rollercoasters to the old mobile jail
All hail…
The hotdog squeal.
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Sometimes Brittany says things that don’t
make a whole lotta sense.
Here’s a few examples i’de like to submit as
evidence…
Brittany said: I just want to rent a whole
family of goats to walk all over me [because my
back hurts]
I said: Why do they need to be related?
Brittany said: That’s the only way to make sure
they get along and not get distracted!
Brittany and Jeremy discussing the meaning of
“to grapple with a decision”…
…
Brittany said: Are you talking about
“Grab-apples?”
I said: WTF are grab-apples? Wait, did you
mean “crabapples”?
Brittany said: No. they are called grab-apples
because they are tiny and easy to grab. Why would
they name a fruit after seafood? I have to Google
this.
I said: Please do.
Brittany said: There’s nothing but stock photos
of people grabbing apples! This can’t be right!
I’ve been duped again!
Brittany and Jeremy discussing something
work-related…
…
I said: Most people will just use the tools that
are already in place for the fastest results
Brittany said: Well, some people just do what
they want to with their drum, because that’s who
they are and they own the drum.
I said: Do you mean “they march to the beat of
their own drum”?
Brittany said: Sure. They can march if they want
to. It’s THEIR drum!
Brittany said: Whoa! I feel like I just got
shorter
I said: Like in the last 10 seconds?
Brittany said: Yeah
I said: Did you recently take off your shoes?
Brittany said: Laughs for about 30 seconds…
I said: You didn’t answer the question…
Brittany said: Yes. I just took off my slippers
I said: Seriously?
Brittany said (15 minutes later): It was the
weirdest feeling
I said: Feeling shorter?
Brittany said: Yes!
I said: That happens every time you take off
your shoes!!
Brittany said: I know, I just noticed it more
this time
Brittany said: Why do you have so many bottles
of water in your truck?
…
I said: You’ll be thankful that we have them
if we ever get run off the road into a ravine.
Brittany said: Yeah, right! We don’t go anywhere.
We’re never going to go to a ravine!
I said: Go to? It’s not a destination. People
don’t get run off the road into a ravine on
purpose.
Brittany said: I wouldn’t know because I’ve
never been to one.
Brittany said: When people say they are “on the
lamb”, does that mean they didn’t want to steal
a horse so they stole a lamb instead because
that’s less obvious.
…
I said: It’s “lam” not “lamb”. Sheep are not
involved. Wouldn’t someone riding a lamb stick
out more than someone riding a horse?
Brittany said: People used to have a lot of
lambs because they needed to make clothing and
one lamb can go missing without people noticing.
Brittany said at 12:02: I may have an afternoon
cocktail.
I said at 12:50: Whatever happened to that
afternoon cocktail?
Brittany said: I meant later in the day
I said: But you said after noon. It’s after
noon.
Brittany said: OMG! I just got why they call it
that!
I said: What?
Watching Jeopardy! Question about a deep ocean
trench…
I said: What is the Mariana Trench?
Brittany said: Hmmm…I thought it was called the
“Marinara Trench”.
I said: What? Why?
Brittany said: Because the Italians discovered
it.
Talking about the local animal sanctuary…
Brittany said: “..and they have prime-apes!”
I said: “What are prime-apes?”
Brittany said: “I don’t know. The best kind of
apes?”
I said: “It’s primates…and this is going on
Facebook”
Brittany said: It’s like they say,
“walk softly around sticks”.
I said: Nope.
So now you can see from what you just heard,
my baby puts her twist on every other word.
I love her more and more each and every day,
she’s making me smile, what more can I say?
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